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being an obsessive girly girl

I'm not really a big girly girl, or...wasn't. Usually, I'd rather buy gadgets and crafty tools than a new pair of shoes or a pretty dress. But this whole wedding thing...is turning me into a vain little lady. I guess I can't really help it when I know I will be stared at by everybody that day; and the photos will capture my 27th year of living for lifetimes to come. That justifies this obsession with the superficial, right?

So I went to this supposedly good makeup artist the other day, and I came back looking like I had an all-nighter in a tanning machine, or I was wearing one of those halloween rubber masks. Disappointed, I decided I should just do my own makeup. In a sense, I should, it's artsy fartsy! I mean, I can paint and stuff, makeup is not that different. I like putting on makeup because of all the pretty colors and textures. Besides, I have to paint my sisters' faces that day anyway, so I might as well start practicing.

And so I started expanding my collection of art supplies--this is what happens when I go on eBay:

I end up bidding on one too many auctions or get too anxious/impatient. Now I have four BadGal mascaras...big, small, black, blue....... New unused mascara, anyone?

And I hate the social standard of eyebrows. Why must a woman spend a lifetime plucking and thinning away her eyebrows, only to go back and color them back in with a colored pencil, or even tattoo? -_____- It's nonsensical to me. Why do they have to be 3/8" thick upside-down check marks? F that. I can allow my bushy brows to be less scraggy, but no more.

Not a big girly girl, but obsessive: I've always been. I have a tendency to load too many things onto my plate, like at a buffet. I know I can't eat that much, but I'm greedy and want a taste of everything! I want to be involved in everything, and I have a hard time relying on others to do a job. I know I can do everything, but I end up stressing myself out like crazy. It's so hard for me to relax and let go. I'm a really big perfectionist. So it gets scary. Like right now. TWO MONTHS! I still have to make all FIFTEEN table decor thingies, sew my dress, make other decor thingies, and make other bridesmaid thingies.

People offer to help. But how? How can I tell others to paint this ball like this way? Or wirewrap this pearl to this earring in this way? Or draw me some decor thingie in Illustrator that can be machine cut?

Mmm...I don't know. It's also hard because I have to be so secretive. I don't want to tell everybody what I'm doing or post it all on this blog before people get to see it in person. It wouldn't be amusing anymore. I have this thing and that thing to make. And this is also why you can't come over, because our house is a mess from making things! "How have you been?" "Busy."

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